27 Nov 2016
Harry: How do I protect my son, Dumbledore?
Dumbledore: You ask me, of all people, how to protect a boy in terrible danger? We cannot protect the young from harm. Pain must and will come.
Harry: So I’m supposed to stand and watch?
Dumbledore: No. You’re supposed to teach him how to meet life.
* From The Cursed Child, by J. K. Rowling (p. 121).
We try to avoid pain.
We surround ourselves with comfort. We invest in our future for our peace of mind, forgetting that we don’t know whether we’ll be part of it. We douse ourselves with all sorts of drugs and medications to circumvent any physical discomfort. We work more and hard to keep our gaze away from uncomfortable things.
What makes it worse at times is not the pain itself, but the fear that we might feel it in the first place, and that we don’t know for how long.
And yet “pain must and will come.” A simple statement, but so terrifying.
It doesn’t mean that one seeks out pain intentionally – that would be a way of trying to control it. Nor does it mean that one inflicts it on others – that is called cruelty.
Instead, it helps not to focus our energies on pain avoidance, as this leads to an alienated life – a numb one. No pain, no gain, they say. Or rather: No pain, no life.
By acknowledging the pain that already exists in our lives, we learn to accept that it is there no matter what. In this way, pain no longer remains the focus of our lives, as we battle to avoid it, but we become able to engage in whatever we are living, able to take on the pain that comes along the way.
Accepting pain enables life.
* 2025 update: It fills me with great sadness and anger to know that I am quoting an author whose position on gender issues has caused, and will cause, pain to countless trans people. This kind of pain is of a kind that is uselessly inflicted.
Photo credits: Sujin Jetkasettakorn